Abuse is never a one time event.
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.
It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the 'making-up' and 'calm' stages disappear.
- Your partner acts very controlling and embarrasses you with bad names and put downs in front of others.
- Your partner acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to you.
- You become quiet when your partner is around and you seem afraid of making them angry.
- You stop seeing your friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated.
- Your partner takes your money and/or makes you ask for money.
- Your partner controls what you do, whom you see or talk to, and even where you go.
- Your child is frequently upset or withdrawn and won't say why.
- Your partner acts like the abuse is not a big deal, it's your fault, or even denies doing it.
- You often cancel plans at the last minute.
- You see your partner violently lose their temper, striking or breaking objects.
- You often have injuries (from violence) that are explained to others as accidents.
- You mention your partner's violent behavior, but laugh it off as a joke.
Power and Control
The chart below is a way of looking at the behaviors abusers use to get and keep control in their relationships. Battering is a choice. It is used to gain power and control over another person. Physical abuse is only one part of a system of abusive behaviors.
This chart uses the wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse. Each part shows a way to control or gain power.
Why It's Important To Report The Domestic Violence?
- First and foremost - VICTIM SAFETY!
- You cannot stop the violence!
- Allows trained personnel to investigate, assist, assess and document the situation.
- Perpetrator becomes aware that others know of the situation (can start being held accountable).
- Opportunity for both victim and perpetrator to receive help.
*Remember without intervention, the violence will only get worse!
Adult victims now have a choice of restricted or unrestricted reporting of Domestic Violence Incidents. (Note: Child abuse reporting procedures will remain the same.)
Restricted reporting allows the adult victim to receive care and services without an investigation or involvement by parties other than those listed below:
- A Victim Advocate*
- Victim Advocate Supervisor*, or
- Health Care Provider*
These individuals MUST be the initial recipient of the abuse report. Reports made to anyone else will be handled as unrestricted.
For Unrestricted Reporting by the victim and by third-party individuals, call 254-287-CARE (2273)
For Restricted Reporting by the victim, call 254-702-4953
What Can I Do To Be Safe?
According to the American Bar Association, Safety Planning is critical for people who have been battered or threatened by their intimate partners. The danger of violence, including the risk of death, escalates when a domestic violence survivor attempts to leave a batterer. If you or someone you know is planning to leave an abuser or to take any legal or financial steps to separate, you must plan for your safety. It is also crucial to have a safety plan if you or someone you know continues to live with a batterer.
- Open a saving account.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you can trust.
- Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
- Keep the shelter, police and victim advocacy numbers close at hand at all times.
- Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser.
Why You Want To Call The Police?
- They can protect you from immediate danger and help you and your children get out of the house safely.
- They can arrest the abuser without a warrant, when the police officer has good reason to believe that an assault has taken place or that the abuser has violated a protective order.
- They must advise you of the availability of shelter programs and other services in your area.
- They must write out a police report, which is a detailed account of what happened to you.
- A police report may be used to help prove the abuse occurred, should the charges be filed against the abuser.
- A police report can be used to show good cause for the courts to grant a protective order if you should ever need one.
Families in Crisis
Established to provide emergency shelter and support services to victims of family violence and sexual assistance in a protective environment. Services include a 24-hour emergency hotline (1-888-799-SAFE ), immediate safe shelter, provision of food and clothing, transportation and crisis intervention counseling. Families in Crisis also provides referrals for medical, legal, and social services in the community. Call 634-2284 for more information.
Food, shelter, clothing, school supplies, diapers, and other necessities provided as needed to residents. Case management services to assist residents in obtaining housing, employment, skills training, financial assistance, and legal advocacy.
Unit commanders may issue Military Protection Orders (MPOs) as a means to preserve good order and discipline by members of the command. Commanders may issue MPO's to ensure the safety of service members, family members, and other individuals from the threat of domestic violence by other such persons within areas for which commanders are responsible.
Unit commanders should issue MPOs to protect potential victims from threatened abuse before domestic violence has occurred in order to stabilize the situation pending an investigation. Commanders should issue MPOs after domestic violence has been reported to protect the victims from further abuse, whether or not the investigation has concluded.
Unit commanders should issue MPOs when victims have already obtained a civil protection order or temporary restraining order from a civilian judge. Since the military is not a state agency that enforces an order additional safeguards affecting those who are under the authority of the commander.
An Emergency protective order may be issued to a victim of family violence or dating violence who has been threatened with further harm. In the state of Texas, a Protective Order is a civil order with civil and criminal consequences. This means that although the court proceedings take place in a civil court, if the person who you are asking the court to be protected from (the respondent) violates the order, the respondent may be arrested and/or fined for not following what the Protective Order is granted, for at least a year, by your local county or district court judge to protect victims of family violence.
It is not a punishment for the respondent, but it is intended to prevent future family violence. It orders someone who has been abusive to do or not to do certain things, examples being: order an abuser not to go near the victims residence, place of employment, or child's school or day care; and may also provide for temporary visitation and/or child or spousal support.
To apply for a Protective Order, contact a FAVAP or the Lone Star Legal Aid at (254) 939-5773. They can provide this service unless they have a conflict of interest with the parties, then the application could be referred to the County Attorney's Office. You can apply for a protective order in person, with the help of a private attorney or legal aid service program, or through a district or county attorney. The application must be filed in the county in which you or the alleged offender lives (in a case involving a pending divorce, the application may be filed in the county where you live or in the county where the divorce is pending). Protective Order Application Kit.
To further discuss Protective Orders and request assistance in seeking Protective Orders contact the Victim Advocate assigned to your Command or call 287-3583.
At the victim request the victim advocate may accompany the victim to court proceedings and be present while he/she testifies.
Accompany Victim To All Assault Related Appointments Such As:
- Medical exam.
- Interviews with Law Enforcement/Investigators (CID, local police).
- Interviews with legal counsel, trial counsel and defense.
Case Review Committee
The Case Review Committee (CRC) is a multidisciplinary team of service providers and other professionals who are directly involved with individual cases of abuse and neglect.
As part of the CRC, the commander or a command representative are invited to attend the CRC meeting to present information about the service member.
- A Victim Advocate may be invited to attend Case Review Committee (CRC) meeting to represent the victim interest and to ensure all services are integrate.
- The advocate is a non-voting member of the CRC.
- Case Manager may request that the advocate inform the victim of the outcome of the case review prior to sending written notification.
- Advocate assist the victim with referral or recommendation from the CRC (to include follow-up services) at the victim's request.
In 1994, Congress required the Department of Defense to conduct a study of Family Member's abuse and its consequences and to identify efforts to reduce victim disincentives to reporting abuse. Congress followed up on its concerns and established the Transitional Compensation program for abused family members of military personnel. The legislation authorized temporary payments for Families in which the absent Soldier has been discharged administratively or by court martial for dependent abuse. Benefit entitlement starts the date the court martial sentence is approved or the date the administrative separation is initiated. Payments are for a minimum of 12 months or until the Soldier's ETS date, whichever period is longer, but may not exceed a maximum of 36 months. TC is centrally funded and managed at Department of the Army level. For details on this program, please call 254-287-3583
A victim, guardian of a victim, or close relative of a deceased victim is entitled to the following rights within the criminal justice system:
1. The right to be treated with fairness, dignity, and a respect for privacy.
2. The right to be reasonably protected from the accused offender.
3. The right to be notified of court proceedings.
4. The right to be present at all public court proceedings related to the offense, unless the court determines that testimony by the victim would be materially affected if the victim heard other testimony at trial, or for other good causes.
5. The right to confer with the attorney for the Government in the case.
6. The right to restitution, if appropriate.
7. The right to information regarding conviction, sentencing, imprisonment, and release of the offender from custody.
Where To Go For Help
For Unrestricted Reporting by the victim and by third-party individuals, call 254-287-CARE
For Restricted Reporting by the victim, call 254-702-4953
Installation Victim Advocate Command Assignment Listing